I Knew I loved him
by zeusfluff
Summary: Loving him wasn’t a problem; it was my conscience that forbade me from telling him. Olivia contemplates how to tell Peter she loves him. For all you P/O lovers out there. Chapter 2 up due to demand for Peter's reaction.
1. I Knew I loved him

**I Knew I loved him**

Author: ZeusFluff.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Fringe characters. Grammar and spelling are though.

Summary: Loving him wasn't a problem; it was my conscience that forbade me from telling him.

Date Started: 11/30/09. Date Finished: 11/30/09. Hope you will all enjoy! A/N: This little ficlet came to mind inspired by some random song I'm listening to: No Debiste Volver. You should not return. Not the exact translation. But hey... Don't ask...

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I knew I loved him; I just had trouble telling him that with words. Every time I tried texting him, I would either delete what I had just written or save it to the draft folder for later retrieval.

Knowing very well that the text would never get sent, it didn't occur to me that Peter would be amused at the thought. That _I actually loved him. _I hadn't known when I had begun falling

in love with the man. One I had considered to be a part of my 'dangerous men list'. But there was just something so intoxicating about him. And it wasn't just his alluring cologne he wore

every day either. It was something much deeper. Something that I wasn't even sure I was able to identify with.

Every time I looked into his mysterious green eyes they held something more. I was attracted to more than just his appearance; it was his sarcastic and smart ass remarks that got me.

His warm and caring voice when he worried about me. I longed to touch his stubble forming on his chin, which signaled a possible five-o-clock shadow in the works. But something was

holding me back. All those times I had been tempted by fate to pull him to me and kiss him went unnoticed by Peter. Holding hands wouldn't signal anything either. It would only warrant

a budding romantic relationship in its earliest form. I often wondered what it would be like if I kissed him and he tasted sweet. Smiling to myself I took another sip of my red wine, thinking

of all the ways to tell Peter that I _truly loved him. _In all senses of the word.

I imagined him in bed with me, and the two of us doing things I had reserved between me and John. But Peter was someone entirely different. _He wasn't John. Not in the slightest. _He

really cared about me. He had told me once that he had cared about me. It went far deeper than just a simple: 'I care about you just as friends sort of thing.' It was more of an attraction

at first, but Peter and I have grown more together this past year and a half. Working different cases. Our bond was strong. He was insufferable at times, and yet I _loved him. _We were on

a journey together, and wherever that took us, I was ready for it. I knew I loved him. Loving him wasn't the problem; it was my conscience that forbade me from telling him.


	2. Forbidden Texts

**Here's another chapter for your reading enjoyment. Since people clearly want to know what Peter's views are on how Olivia really feels about him. Here you go! Enjoy! Date Started: 12/1/09. Date Finished: 12/1/09. Enjoy the last chapter! Thanks! And yet again the song No Debiste Volver (You should not return.)** **has inspired me to write this last chapter... **

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Watching Olivia leave the lab was like watching a flower bloom. Her flashing green eyes and wonderful smile could set off a large wildfire almost anywhere she went. Her laugh was what made me fall in love with her. I had never felt that about any other woman before. But Olivia was one of those women who were just as beautiful not only on the outside, but the inside as well. I looked down to realize that she had left her cell phone in the office. _She left her cell phone here. Should I take a peek at her texts? No, that'd be prying. Oh what the hell, let's have a little looksy. _

Picking up her phone, I opened it with care, making sure that I didn't deface it. Her phone sometimes the front came off. Looking through her outbox, I could find no messages addressed to me. In her inbox I did however find several from me asking her what she was up to and updates of stuff for cases we had been working on lately, but that was it. Her draft box was what interested me the most. _Hmm. This could get interesting. _The first text draft was a long one:

_I love you Peter Bishop. I've loved you since the first day I met you in Iraq and you called me sweetheart. All those smart ass remarks I know it may look like I didn't approve of them, but I didn't care in the slightest. You are something else entirely Peter. I wasn't expecting to fall for you so fast. Especially falling for you when John was still alive. I realized though, after John passed away, that my love for you only grew stronger. _

_At first I thought it was just attraction like I had felt with John, but it was different. It felt right that I was falling in love with you. John told me he loved me, but never meant it. He was only using me for his own personal gain. I was just a piece of ass for him. With you, it's different. You care about me a great deal. I could not imagine a day without you now, now that we've grown so close. Writing this to you is the only way I feel I can express myself without telling you in person. It's not so much that I don't want to tell you Peter, it's just my conscious isn't ready to let me tell you yet. So this is the only way to relay what I'm thinking. Point being here is, I love you and if I ever lost you, I'd probably die of a broken heart. _

_Love, Olivia_

I sifted through her other drafts to find one interesting piece and a side to Olivia I had never seen personally. Not intimately at least. The second one read:

_Peter I have always loved you. I'm finding myself thinking about you constantly. And not just as friends either. I think of the two of us as lovers. Now when it occurred to me, I don't know. It just happened one day and stuck ever since. I find myself blushing whenever I see you. Hiding it behind a mask of fake calm seems to work around you. I know this probably sounds all so juvenile. But I want you Peter. I want you so bad sometimes I'd do just about anything to get to you. Even if it meant strapping you down to a bed and having my way with you and making sure you never left me, I'd do it. There I said it. I finally said how I feel about you. This is only a small preview of what is to come Peter Bishop._

_Love, Olivia_

I shut Olivia's cell phone and laughed a little. _Wow. _I didn't know Liv had it in her to tell me all this. That's just it though, her conscious was telling her it wasn't the right time to tell me yet, so she thought the best idea was for her to write it all down in a text and send it to me. Though I notice that she's only gotten as far as saving them to the draft box of her phone. I wonder what's holding her back. I walk out into the lab and out the door muttering an 'I'll be back' to Walter. Once in the hallway, I find Olivia walking back towards the lab. She smiles at me brightly.

"You decided to come with me Peter? It's an awful long drive to Portland, Maine. Are you sure you want to be in my company for that long? It could get kind of boring."

Nothing was boring about Olivia Dunham. She kept things exciting. Smirking at her, I pulled her cell phone out of my pocket and was about to hand it to her. Instead, I brushed my hand lightly against hers. I watched as she bit her bottom lip and her face turned three shades of red.

"You left _this _in your office. I just thought I should return it to you. Yes, I am coming with you to Portland. I don't mind being company to you. It's better than listening to Walter rambling on about the ingredients for how to make that Strawberry Supreme milkshake he loves so much. And I know how you feel about me Olivia. I saw all those texts in your draft box on your phone that were intended for me. You'd really strap me down to a bed and have your way with me if you really wanted to?"

I saw Olivia's face turn red once more, but this time she didn't stop herself from showing that she really did love me. She pulled me up against her and began to kiss me. We would have to move this show of emotion somewhere else, there were students passing by, staring at the two of us. When she pulled away, her face wasn't red anymore, but she was breathing pretty heavily. She smiled brightly and laughed a little.

"Yes Peter Bishop I would. I love you more than you would ever know. If I lost you, I'm sure I would die of a broken heart."

I stroked Olivia's cheeks with my thumbs. I could see the tears in her eyes. But she wasn't one to let them shed so easily. She had just gotten out of a bad relationship, so it probably would be best to just take things day by day, one step at a time. I was grateful to have Olivia Dunham in my life. She made me feel whole, and it felt good for once to have someone love you for who you really were on the inside and out no matter what your past history was.

"Don't worry Liv. You won't lose me because I'll never leave you. You want to know something? I think that if I lost you too I'd die of a broken heart. I love you too Olivia. More and more each day, and it'll only get stronger as time goes on."

The End...

A/N: What'd you all think of the ending? I hope it wasn't too corny... I had to dig to write this chappie. Different side of me I don't like exposing very well...


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